Thursday, February 25, 2016

Why do you have to have a strong reason

in everything!

So if there's actually a SolSlum regular reader, they might have realize that I suddenly employed in unsaid company.

My prime reason for accepting the position was to humor a friend in need of a company, since she didn't really have anyone around here and very little surviving instinct(which I took note in between these three months I stayed with her).

I was invited by her for several time already, so in the end, with a high hopes that she isn't as difficult as she use to be; I said fine. I'll go and take the job.

I don't really have much of a choice at the time. Well, I fell like don't, even when I actually have no reason to accept or to fly over directly here.

I actually claimed that my reason for working with the company was to Learn. Well that is only the part truth. I wanted to learn more of what I can get, I wanted to test my limit. 

As I said before in the previous entries, I was actually trying to break my depression cycle. It's actually not working out as I assume, because it depress me even more. It's all too sudden for my unattended mind. 

You'll have to understand that I haven't interact with stranger for more than 1 year before my employment. I might have went into a shock for a while. I felt numb for the first few weeks I'm in.

Now though. I feel like my main reason are standing in the way of my job. This telling me that I have failed. When the big reason of why I care to do something become the reason I don't wish to be so, I feel like everything I did are meaningless.

So, again. I have no actual reason to be here. Should I even stay anymore? I know. I should just take off.

I should put myself first in everything I do in the future. It's just that, I care less about myself that about others.


  1. ahh we are in the same predicament but I have been staying with mine for two years now and I think it's not really that bad, better than sitting around doing nothing I guess :)

    1. Well if the works is good enough for you than thats okay. ^^ In my case however.. I think I wanted to do something else after all this time.. I'm just not yet sure what.. Thanks for reading dear. :)

  2. sabar banyak-banyak ye

    jalan-jalan petang..

    jemput singgah :

    1. Okay c:
      terima kasih.

      kalau ada masa nanti saya singgah.


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